Don’t read the scary things

I was staring at my phone with tears streaming down my face and my husband was like “what’s wrong??”  I had unfortunately stumbled across a post from someone who was a facebook friend, but did not really know, but his wife was pregnant and due to give birth in a week. They went for their last ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I should have stopped right there! I should have put the phone away! But I had to click it and see what happened. I read the whole story and of course it scared the crap out of me.

Pregnancy is both wonderful and exciting but godawful terrifying at the same time! Maybe if I just walked around with a fetal monitor on 24-7 I’d feel better. I thought the first trimester was going to be the scariest time. And it was nerve wracking of course. But by the 3rd trimester you’ve invested so much time and love that the thought of anything happening makes my heart nearly explode. I’ve gnawed my nails to nubs with anxiety if I haven’t felt a wiggle in an hour. I look at his room all ready, my bags packed, the crib set up in our room and just get completely freaked out. They need to make a special kind of Xanax for nervous pregnant ladies.

Today at just over 36 weeks starts my weekly ultrasound visits, which will hopefully cut down on some of my worry. I have to remind myself that the stories that I’ve read, the things that happened to people…it usually wasn’t on a closely monitored pregnancy because they thought everything was going fine. (if you have another theory, please don’t mention it because I’m hanging on a thread here) But with my “advanced maternal age” and low Papp-A results, they are going to be on it with the monitoring checking every little thing and I don’t mind one bit.

I cannot wait to get this little boy out so I can cuddle him and start on a whole new set of worries!


5 thoughts on “Don’t read the scary things

  1. I think it is only natural to worry about baby!! I didn’t feel my baby move for a few hours last night & started to freak out! Luckily I was able to wake him up a little & this morning he is more active. Even with out reading stuff I think we all still worry!! I am sure everything is just fine with your little one!! =)

    • Just read your update and see you are experiencing the same crazies with making sure he’s wiggling around often! I hate those lazy baby days. I keep saying he can sleep when he is born, lol.

  2. You’re right – every step of the way is scary and the worry doesn’t end with giving birth. I’ve struggled with anxiety a lot too.

    • Yep, totally new set of worries then! Of course yesterday the top story on yahoo was about a baby dying 8 days after somebody kissed her and had a cold sore. Maybe I should just stay offline and I won’t see these things. I scare myself enough as it is!

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