A lion among the sheep

That’s what my husband keeps calling our one little egg that could. The nurses and docs at the fertility clinic keep calling it the “miracle baby.”  I wasn’t sure why at first, but I learned some interesting info on my last RE appointment.

The doc said most places would have cancelled the cycle and suggested donor eggs.

I did not do well on the “Clomid challenge” where they pump you full of Clomid and see how many eggs you can make. I did not respond all that well to the IVF drugs and only managed one barely mature follicle. My state of diminished ovarian reserve from both endometriosis and being in the dreaded “over 35” age range did not indicate I’d ever be able to do better than that.

They did give me the option to cancel and try again for more eggs. I would have loved to been able to transfer two and hope for twins. I would have loved to have extras to freeze for the possibilities of future children. But at that moment I had a choice to see if this one would be the one and I took it. And thank God it was.

I read blogs every day on here with women crying and angry over only getting 2 or 3 eggs to fertilize. I guess that’s not much compared to all the women getting numbers in the double digits. But I also read blogs with those same women going through multiple losses and when that happens I understand the intense desire for back-ups. While I was not thrilled with my results, I was very happy to have made one egg. I kept thinking I had “one egg in one basket.” And when I found out that one egg had successfully fertilized, consider mind. blown.

As nothing had ever gone right in my IF experience, all the way up to my crappy egg production, I was not expecting good news. It must have been evident in my voice because the embryologist on the phone said “you sound surprised.” And yes, I was.

This whole time my husband’s mantra besides the oh so popular “It only takes one” was that it was better to be “a lion among the sheep” than to have a whole mess of eggs that weren’t as strong. And he was right.

So yesterday we “graduated” from the RE’s office and were sent out into gen pop with an appointment for the OB/GYN next week. I am getting to wean off the prometrium and estrogen, which I am very happy about coupled with a small dose of terror that that is the only thing keeping this going. The nurse assured me the placenta had taken over already and I could stop cold turkey, but could wean off if that made me feel better. So I’m weaning.

We got a beautiful new ultrasound pic that looks like an actual little baby. We can see tiny arms and legs and a humongous head. He takes after his dad. Just kidding, lol. I’m looking forward to continuing this journey on my new pregnant path, but I just won’t know what to do with myself now that I won’t be getting crotch probed every week. I have to say- I cannot wait to be far enough along for that on the belly ultrasound!


30 thoughts on “A lion among the sheep

  1. Its easy for us to focus only on the negatives, be sad and cry over what we dont have. Comparing our situation with other people that seem to have it better than we do, but we never really know what kind of struggles they are facing… but being able to see how lucky you are despite all the negative things, that takes a special person! You’ll be a great mom!! xoxo

  2. It is a miracle baby! That’s amazing! Did you have a 3 or 5 day transfer? For a single egg to fertilize and make it to embryo stage for transfer is amazing! You have defied statistics and I LOVE that! Congrats!

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